November 22nd is, perhaps, my favorite day of the year to die. Weird? Maybe. But consider this: Aldous Huxley, Jack London, William Bradford, John F. Kennedy, and C.S. Lewis died on that day. Even Robin Hood and Blackbeard, the pirate, reportedly died on November 22nd. But four influential little girls, largely forgotten from history, also died on that day and their deaths have changed my life forever.

The Spaffords decided to spend their vacation in England, but a last minute obligation in his law practice forced Horatio to stay home. His wife and daughters were at sea several days when another ship collided with theirs. All four daughters drowned that day. When their mother reached England, she sent him a heart-breaking telegram: “Saved Alone.”

Horatio’s only son had died only two years earlier at the age of four, and here, overnight, he was bereft of all the rest. Those deaths thrust him into the basement of his soul where he wrestled with unparalleled grief. He climbed aboard a ship with that anguish and began the journey to join his wife Anne, solitary and sorrowing. When his ship sailed over the very spot where his daughters had drowned, Horatio chose to do something that has changed the way I see suffering and the way I respond to suffering. In his grief and anguish, he did something utterly courageous. He wrote a song.

His decision to write a song in the midst of his suffering forces us to ask the big question that nobody’s asking: “What will I do with my suffering?”

Life’s pain often arrives suddenly, abruptly changing everything. C.S. Lewis put it this way: “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Pain, to some degree or another, is a guarantee in life. The encounter with suffering forces us to decide what we will do with it-whether we will remain deaf or whether we will listen to God-but the decision would be easier if we established principles ahead of time, before the anguish sets in. Most of us try to forget or ignore our suffering. We certainly don’t memorialize it, like Horatio Spafford did. Some of us have subconsciously bought the lie that pleasure is the aim of life and any suffering is a roadblock to our life’s aim.

How easily we forget that God is the aim of our lives.

What would happen if we changed our aim in life from self-fulfillment to God-fulfillment? Would we view pain differently? Horatio Spafford saw his suffering as an opportunity to worship and draw closer to God. He saw it as an opportunity to write a song, one that has ministered to generations of Christians ever since: “It Is Well With My Soul”.

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.”

Horatio Spafford’s response to tragedy was born from an uncommon imagination. Maybe it’s time to imagine our story, including suffering, more like he did. Maybe it’s time to see suffering as an opportunity to know God more urgently, more intimately.

We all want fulfillment. We all want a richer life. I think suffering is an important means to both, but only if we respond to it well. Here are four principles for turning suffering into an opportunity for a richer walk with God:

1. Claim Your Pain: Stop comparing your suffering to someone else’s. God has included it as part of your story. Whether the suffering is big or small, it is God’s megaphone in your life. Listen.
2. Lean Into Suffering: Don’t drown it out with distractions, ignore it, forget it or run away from it. Lean into the anguish and lean on the Holy Spirit.
3. Trust the Author, You have no other choice. The facts are clear. God is the author (Psalm 119:9-91). He’s good (Mark 10:18). He’s reliable (II Cor. 1:20). He’s in charge of the events in your life (Dan. 4:35). Embrace the story by embracing the story-teller.
4. Look for the Stars in the Dark Canvas of Your Sky: Even in the midst of darkness, God gives us small tastes of hope, glimpses of goodness for which we can be thankful.

Those four principles will enrich life. If you’d like to further explore these four principles, you can do so in my new book.

I’m excited to announce the upcoming release of A Small Cup of Light, available from Amazon.com on August 30th.

If you’d like a deeper walk with God through suffering, I wrote this book for you. I can’t wait to share it with you. Spread the word. Spread the light.

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